If you ain’t doing this for the love what you doing it for?
I make the effort to connect to those I am closest to
Like, I literally visualize making a link between my body and theirs, usually coming from my abdomen.
I use this link to send support in the form of love or whatever emotion might be needed or I’m able to offer.
Usually I am overflowing with energy that it just spills outward.
I have had people tell me that they could feel my presence, sometimes from across the country.
I even do that with people through the Internet, sometimes.
If I’ve learned one thing in this life…
Never talk yourself into something that your heart isn’t set on.
My emotional range
Loving everyone and everything
Hating everyone and everything
How can you expect your heart to grow if it doesn’t break sometimes?
You’ll never know how much I love you
I love blankets
I could just make a nest out of them and sink into it forever
I had a nice experience driving home yesterday..
I was contemplating lightness and darkness, especially how many, especially in new age paradigm, seem to be adverse to what they perceive as “darkness.”
For a long time I have considered both polarities to be present in any person, which seems to cause a lot of cognitive dissonance, in general, if they are still engaged in the duality of good triumphing over evil.
Darkness isn’t something to be conquered, or dominated.
It is a highly creative aspect of your self, one that many people shirk from confronting and integrating.
Anyway, the experience I had, as I was driving, in my heart i felt a surge of energy, as I was overwhelmed with love for my self, and for my body.
I feel amazed by how far I have come, in such a short time, relatively.
I don’t understand people who romanticize love..
My experience is that love brings some of the most excruciating pain one can feel. It isn’t all romance and infatuation, it is delving into another person, losing yourself in them, until you know each others darkness, and are so thoroughly entwined that there is not knowing where the two selves demarcate. Anyone I have loved, I have felt connected to since before time. Any time I open myself to someone, it is as if my heart is shattering, breaking open. It is joyous, and I feel so alive at that time, but almost as if I will tear apart at the seams.
The way I see it, love hurts, and if you fear knowing someone else’s darkness, let alone knowing your own, I do not consider that to be love.
Love transcends fear.
I would have thought having my heart torn out..
Would have left me cold and bitter, but it seems the opposite is true.
The month at the end of my last relationship consisted of some of the most excruciating emotional pain that I have felt in my life. Dealing with her indecision, not knowing if she was going to choose me or him, was the worst. Part of me had already given up on the relationship, long before that, but the part that clings was determined to see it to the end, whatever detriment to me.
I guess I have a knack for torturing myself, but I am glad it is over. I have learned that I am done playing games. I’m done putting others needs ahead of mine. I used to think that being in a monogamous relationship was a type of ownership of another, but after what I just went through, I am more than convinced that I am ready to fully commit myself to some one (you know who you are.)
Anyway, getting back to the original point of my post, I have become anything but cold and bitter. My heart has burst open and overflows with joy. It is so big, it seems like it will completely overwhelm me at times, and it often does. I am grateful for how my last relationship ended, and the things that I learned from it, and above all, that it is over.
I am ready to move on, to build a new life.
